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Friday, April 3, 2009

Birth Control: It's Covered Too!

Something happened in my pharmacy recently that pissed me the hell off, for more than one reason. I was counting out some pills, most likely oxycodone or some other CII, when I heard it. Screaming. Kids screaming. Numerous kids screaming. A chill goes down my spine. Please, please for the love of whatever is out there, not in my pharmacy. Relief comes flooding in when they walk into the clinic. Good, they have an appointment, I have at least an hour or so to prepare myself for this shit show. Wrong. 45 minutes later I hear it again. Screaming. Fuuuuuuuuuck.

Ok, I tell myself, there's no way in hell all of these little brats have scripts. Not possible, no way the doctor had enough time to check out all the kids. Wrong again. They walk in and start tearing the pharmacy apart, and their mother hands me the scripts. 8 scripts. All for amoxicillin. AHHH! What. The. Fuck?!?!! One kid is pulling on his ear and you give them all antibiotics? Fuck you doctor, you just wanted to get these brats out of you office so someone else had to deal with them.

Have your children filled here before? "Oh yes, all of their information is in there," mother says as one of her little brats starts hitting her. No shit, this little 3 year old was punching her mom, and her mom was doing nothing to stop it. Well, I look up brat #1, nothing in the computer.

Ma'am? I don't have any information for brat #1, are you sure you've filled here before? "Oh, well maybe not," mother says as brat #2 knocks over the Ring Pops. (I completely forgot about Ring Pops until I worked in a retail pharmacy. Kids love those fucking things. Only 80 calories a Pop!)

Ok, do you have insurance you want this billed to? Oh boy, here it comes, I know 8 gold cards are coming out. Sure as shit, 8 Medicaid cards fly out.

Eventually I get all the scripts in the computer, filled, and waited as the pharmacist checked them. I watched as the mother sat in a chair while her children rolled on the floor screaming and knocking candy off the shelves. I am still uncomfortable with telling mothers to get their kids in check, I am still a student, remember. Someday I'll get the balls to do such things, I can't wait for that day.

What I really wanted to tell the mother was this. "You know something? I'm sick of paying taxes so you can sit on your ass and get pregnant. I'm not working my ass off so you can take a dick. Medicaid covers birth control, talk to your doctor and get your lazy ass on some birth control, for fuck's sake."

If I had said that, she probably would've responded, "It's against my religion."

*Sigh* Honestly...

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