Bad Hair Day

We got another new tech intern today. She seems nice. After saying that I almost feel bad about making fun of her. But dear lord, do you really think it's even remotely normal to wear your hair that way? I mean... Picture this combined with this, without the MC Hammer lines. Instead of that those, she has long hair there too. That's right, she has shaved the top of her head, but left the sides, back and front of her hair normal. Did I mention her hair is mostly gray? Yeah. I was almost speechless when I first saw her, but I managed to choke out a "Hi, I'm PDS."

I thought that was it. I was wrong. An hour after I arrived a very feminine-looking man came in with his head shaved and bangs longer than hers. He also had a chin-strap beard and mustache. I decided the reason he still looked quite womanly was due to the extremely thin plucked eyebrows. I just stared at him.

Then I saw his son. Mohawk-mullet. I shit you not. The kid had a mullet and a mohawk. I stared once more.

I don't know what it is about summer that make people make such bad decisions, but I hope I'm never that "creative."

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I got poison ivy on my arm recently. I've never had poison ivy, so I scratched the shit out of it right away, and now it covers a relatively large portion of my arm. Instead of using calamine lotion or hydrocortisone, I just grabbed a "Poison" sticker from our collection of stickers and prescription taped it all up. This didn't help with the itchiness, but it made for some fun conversations at the register.

I'm starting to work a lot more 8 hour shifts as people take their vacations, and I noticed that we never sell any condoms, but we sure run out of them. So, I decided to have a little experiment. I put "For Anal Use ONLY" stickers on 1/3 of the condoms, "For Vaginal Use ONLY" on 1/3 of them, and "For External Use ONLY" on the remainder. We'll see if we've got more anal, vaginal, or masturbating patients who steal in a few days.